For Adults Only!

>> Thursday, August 23, 2007

After all my self-censorship--policing my language, restraining my fingers from typing four-letter words that start with 'f' and end in 'ck' (trust me, you can't find fack, feck, fick, fock or fuck in this blog...until now of course), and veering away from subject matters concerning sex, fornication, drugs and extreme violence--I still get this:



Now I know how Joey Reyes felt when he marched along the streets of Manila shouting "Live Show is not porn!" and asking the president not to ban the critically acclaimed film which was locally known as "Toro".

"Like Clockwork Orange is not porn!", I shout. But it won't change anything. See how they rated my blog:
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
  • jap (7x)
  • shoot (2x)
  • fags (1x)
'Jap' is my nickname and not a racial slur. 'Shoot' does not incite violence, it's a film terminology, and 'fags' is a Brit slang for cigarettes. Much as I would like this blog to have an 'R' rating to add a controversial feel to it, it seems silly now that the rating was based on words that are not controversial at all.

So, I'm thinking that maybe with this post, I'm going to earn my 'R' Rating, in or out of context.

Here goes:
I watched Vagina Monologues before and enjoyed it so much that in my speech class, back in college, I performed Penis Monologues as my finals speech presentation. I sucked at my 'Penis' act but the teacher gave me a good grade anyway. I didn't give a rat's ass about my grade. I was glad that boring class was over. All the girls did in that speech class was put on make up that made them look even more slutty. Thanks to the mirror in each cubicle (which was supposed to guide students on proper mouth openings), girls used it to check out themselves, boys used it to check out the girls, and gays used it to check out their mouth openings and how it would look in the event of a blowjob.
I hope that was dirty enough. Do I deserve it now?

A quick follow up: after posting this, I just upped my rating to:



This blog is too hot for primetime!OUT

11 responses:

intsik 23 August, 2007  

hahahaha OMG! Sino nag rate na sa imo? hahahahaha

slim whale 23 August, 2007  

how does that work? i mean, who rates you? where do you get that?

frankly, it's more interesting to have fuck, fornication, blowjob, cunt, cunnilingus in one's blog.

by the way, I was part of the Vagina Monologue's production team when it was produced by New Voice Company here. even sang back up when we turned it into some sort of theatrical concert at the Folk arts theater. those were the days...

Jap 23 August, 2007  

INTSIK, just click on the rating pic and get your blog rated there.
__________________________________

SLIM, it's nothing serious, really, just one of those blog things hehehe click on the rating pic and follow the link. You only need to enter your blog URL to get 'rated'.

Thanks for sharing those words, but I think NC-17 is as bad as it gets hehehe

I watched Vagina Monologues when it toured in Davao a long time ago; the one with Mareng Winnie and Lara Fabregas. Theatre is a lot better in Manila =(

HRHMax 23 August, 2007  

Hilarious!

Your highly intellectual blog gets an NC-17 rating. My F-word heavy tirade got a PG warning only! hahahaha! I love flying below the radar.

aryo 24 August, 2007  

Ha ha. I told you. I knew your blog will be meant for the more mature audiences. buti nga di na X!

I plan to post mine just mine below the header and before every post. Kaya lang I dont know how to do it. Bopols, he he. Would you know?

Toe 24 August, 2007  

Haha! That is so funny!

And my golly... Penis Monologues!

Jap 25 August, 2007  

MAX, highly intellectual? are you sure you're commenting on my blog and not Jinoe's? hehehe it is unfair, I suppose, that you got away with a PG rating hmph =(
_________________________________

ARYO, you can add another header element on your lay-out such that you have two headers. But I don't think it will look good since you can't really resize the ratings image. You could try though. It's quite a process and I don't think I can explain it fully in the comments area. I suggest you search for "add header in blogger". Good luck =)
_________________________________

TOE, yeah, you're laughing now, but Penis Monologues was one of the most embarassing ten minutes of my college life =)

jayclops 25 August, 2007  

dili, sa ancient timbuktu language man gud. Jap means kuan... Hehehe.

Jap 25 August, 2007  

JAY, so that explains the tribal orgy invitations I keep getting =/ hehehe sus oi, abi nako maayo ang meaning sa Jap, ka-level lang diay sa JerJer! hahaha

janettetoral.com 27 August, 2007  

I can't believe you got that rating. Wala ba silang appeal where you can request for a manual review of sorts?

Jap 27 August, 2007  

MS JANETTE, hehehe nah, no appeals. I think I'll stick with the NC-17 rating for a while =)

TUBICLE

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Thirtysomething educator who holds the secret to the meaning of life. =P

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